My anxiety is a funny little thing.
On the one hand, it is not fun to be in a state of hyperthinking, hyperanalyzing, hyperprojecting a future that by laws of nature has not arrived yet. On the other, it’s also fun to be in a state of getting flooded by ideas, insights and inspiration. When I’m anxious, everything is ON, body and brain. I get going, and doing. Not all of it is good, not all of it is graceful.
The times I don’t feel anxious are few. Contrary to common advice, calm, serene environments are no guarantee to cure my hyper vigilance. I have had some of my most intense anxious outbursts (or better yet, “inbursts”) at post-card like white sandy beaches alongside the perfect pale-pink sunsets.
Places I feel least anxious: Airports, airplanes. Coffeeshops. Walking through cities.
Interestingly, wandering around in urban spaces with lots of busy business produces a relaxing quality when sitting in a mountain cabin, for instance, will give me cabin-fever within approximately five minutes post-arrival.