QUIET STRENGTH | Who’s strong, really?
What does strength look like?
It’s only been in the recent years where I’ve discovered that strength can be rather quiet - and equally, if not more powerful than the loud action movie type of strength we often see. Being able to tune in with one’s emotions and intuition connects us to a place of infinite power - the power to self-guide, self-heal and thus overcome the challenges of the external world.
Today, exactly 4 years ago marks the day I tapped into my own quiet strength.
It was the day of starting my own integrative health consulting practice, and having my first client. I still remember the moment vividly, and if anybody who saw me that day said I was nervous, it would have been an understatement. As a matter of fact, I was deeply scared and finding all kinds of excuses why I could possibly cancel the appointment. I was confused - this is what I had wanted, this is what I had been studying for so long. This was the very reason why I was able to overcome my own health challenges, and to the disbelief of many had given up a seemingly prestigious career in the fashion industry. Yet there I was, trembling with fear - I felt like I had made a terrible mistake, that I was not capable of doing this type of work after all. This wasn’t about making a piece of garment more desirable using appealing words to hopefully target the right clientele. This was about someone’s health - which essentially is someone trusting you with their life. Including all their hopes and expectations to receive help with that thing that has been troubling them, affecting every aspect of their human experience - physical and emotional body, occupying their mental space with no exit sign in sight. I knew this feeling so very well, since not too long ago I had been sitting in the same chair, my own health being a far distant memory. The state of our health is the most precious, sensitive and vulnerable subject to be shared with someone.
Being who I am - quitting, giving up on something (even though I wish I had been able to do so at times in my life) was not an option. So upon meeting my client, my thoughts racing, heart beating and wondering how I could be of support to them, I recalled a situation from my studies: One of my mentors, that I had the most profound effect in my own path, was a rather quiet person. When you’d enter the room, there was a sense of calm emanating from him, and most times for the first couple minutes he would not say much more then a brief hello. And so I thought to myself, if I could only recreate this atmosphere of calm, eventually, hopefully, my frantic mind would find an anchoring, and settle. When my client arrived - we had barely said hello - I suggested to sit down, close our eyes and become quiet. I guided us through a very short mindful awareness exercise, followed by silence. And a few minutes in, miraculously I could slowly feel myself settling into the moment, becoming present and connecting to a place of quiet strength. I did this exercise mainly to help myself get over the first few minutes of the appointment, yet I realized how it also supported my client in becoming still. This stillness would eventually help them to create the awareness that was needed for the type of work I do, for healing.
Fast forward, 4 years into my practice, I am no longer trembling with fear upon meeting a new client. What has remained, is the practice of becoming quiet for the first few minutes before we speak, it is an integral part of every consultation - new or existing clients.
This quality of quiet strength we all carry within us. The micro meditations I do with my clients are between two minutes and a maximum of four minutes. Yet their effect on the nervous system is deeply profound, allowing us to move from the overstimulated, fight or flight mode we mostly operate from into a place of clarity, enabling the part of our organism that promotes self healing. In physics you’ll find the so called critical point analysis, which in short means that the smallest input can result in the greatest change. This to me is the quintessence of facilitating health in modern life. Most of us don’t have the time for long practices, and realizing that it often only takes three minutes to support the body in its constant efforts for self healing, makes the whole wellness idea more tangible, and applicable.
And today, as I (quietly) celebrate my 4 year anniversary of what after all had turned out to be the best decision I had made so far, I'd like to thank my clients for allowing me to tap into my own quiet strength.
May we all find the courage to become silent, and harness our own quiet strength - daily and even more so, in the face of challenge.
Being human, we all have fogs roll in around our heart, and often, our lives depend on the quiet courage for them to clear - Mark Nepo -